Why is it that so much of the talk surrounding writing is based in death? Kill your darlings, write what you know (maybe this one is personal), write like your parents are dead…
And now? Write like you are dead…
Scene: You’re at a circus/carnival, surrounded by circus/carnival sights and sounds. The laughter of children, the rattle of the roller coaster, the ding ding ding of someone stronger than you winning that hammer game, disorienting flashing lights, crowds, and… what’s that? A red nose? Rudolph? No, worse, it’s a clown.
(A blog post from the past that I didn’t post because: Why did I write this? For your viewing pleasure, a glimpse into my creative process. Don’t look directly, you’ll go blind.)
Naming your blog! Or anything else you want to name. Like your child. In fact, entirely by accident, I ended up randomly generating my next child’s name on the list in step four. See if you can spot it!
Recently, or not so recently depending on what time you hail from, a fellow blogger (one-sided rival/unacquainted acquaintance/individual-whose-blog-I-stalk) offered up his own post on trigger warnings. A post which you can read by following the link provided below. Be warned, as his post also contains discussion of trigger warnings.
What do you think branding is?
Unfortunately, I looked to the wrong sources for my answer. Definition brought to you by courtesy of Wikipedia.
Branding: Pressing a heated metal shape against an object or livestock with the intention of leaving an identifying mark.
Armed with knowledge, I took action. Because when you’re serious about what you do, that’s what you do.
TAKE ACTION. DON’T THINK. ACT. DO IT! JUST DO IT! NOW!
This was supposed to be a good post. Now forgive me as I fight and claw and fail to reproduce word for word what I wrote in my head before climbing out of bed. If I could just remember how it starts…
(Richard Dreyfuss begins narrating) I was twelve going on thirteen the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959…
What the fuck, Richard? This isn’t your movie. Get out. Go!
*Richard Dreyfuss gets out* *Richard Dreyfuss goes*
Sorry, guys. I don’t know how he got in here. This isn’t about the first time I saw a dead body. That’s a story for another time. And it wasn’t 1959. It was in this decade, barely… shit, no it wasn’t. I’m old.
Setting: My high school art class.
We were doing free draw (draw what you want day). I don’t remember what I drew, but I remember my teacher’s reaction.
Teacher: Why don’t you draw something happy?
Me: I don’t feel happy.
So I screwed today up and I’ll never get it back. I sat down to work at 3:39 PM and started strong with a tweet. Followed that up with a quick browse and a pitiful attempt at writing the article I had planned.
So now I’m writing this.
What is this?
A post about procrastination from the world’s leading expert on procrastinating.
I’ve recently received my first beta review and, Dear Reader, I’d like to share that experience with you. My sincerest desire is that my story of survival will give hope to those of you going through similar tragedy.
So begins the review of the first beta review of my book, The Sarimist Loyal. A beta review review if you will. Or critique critique. Whatever you’d like to call it. A rose by any other name still has its thorns and jagged, rotary mandible. All the better for eating up your dreams like a trash disposal.
And, so there is no confusion going forward, this is not a review of the beta below. (Though if it were, I’d have to say it is an excellent specimen, albeit a bit of an asshole.)
(Before we start, you can read January’s (and all past issues) of ARTS Magazine by clicking here. I have an article in there every month so you know they are only accepting the highest of quality! Now, onward!)
My hiatus is over, for real this time. I know, Dear Reader, I’m a flake. But, here and now, I shout my commitment to the void.
I will make this blog a success!