I got pissed this morning and wrote up a serious blog post. But writing it made me unpissed, took the wind out of my knickers, so I’m not wasting time typing that up. (At least not today. I’ll wait until it’s a non-issue that the world has moved on from, and then I’ll toss it out there for everyone to see.)

Just know this, I hate YouTube Kids and the internet is poison and nobody should use it. Except for my blog. All of you should read my blog.

With that, let us away on another glorious installment of Quoth the Raven.

Our Quoth for the day?

“I hope someday to write something worth plagiarizing.”

-Edmund J. Asher

Well, unknown source, you’ve done it. You’ve accomplished your hope as I, Edmund J. Asher, the inventor of plagiarism, have plagiarized your quote.

You now have worth, whoever you are. I have validated your parking and your existence.

My hope is also to someday write something worth plagiarizing (apart from this quoth that I have just plagiarized), and in keeping with that, I’m going to go and write something that isn’t complete and utter garbage.

I hope (a lot of hope flying around this post) you enjoyed this week’s installment of complete and utter garbage, come back next week for wholly and irretrievably trash.

Who’s that Pokemon? It’s trash.

I know, I know! I’m supposed to let you leave. But hold on, I’ll untie you in a second. Did you see the announcement for the new Pokemon games? Pokemon Sword and Shield!

I’m a bit violently angry because sword and shield aren’t colors, but the starters look great. I’m a complete slut for Sobble (I bet you I’m the first to write that) and the fire bunny looks awesome. The grass monkey can go burn.

But overall the games look great. I don’t even care that they’re going to be garbage because they aren’t the exact same games I played as a kid, with unique and not at all bizarre character designs.

Gotta buy this one. You know what? I’m going to go camp out in front of Wal-Mart and wait for them to be released.

*runs out*

*leaves you tied to a chair*

*time passes*

*darkness is falling*

*the shadows are scratching, peeling at your skin*

*they want to wear it for themselves*