It’s Valentine’s day so… quotes about love.

*unenthusiastic yay-ing*

And I haven’t done a D20 List in a literal forever, so let’s combine the two; D20 List and Quoth the Raven. Go!

*rolls twenty-sided die*

*twenty-sided die shrieks thirteen*

Fuck. Well, here you go. Thirteen quoths about love!

Maybe not quite second… but you’re up there!

Let’s Get Quothing

1) I’ll start with my homeboy, Nietzsche.

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

Damn. Such depth. And madness is what we’re all about at Bad Asylum.

2) Who’s next? Chaucer.

“The life so brief, the art so long in the learning, the attempt so hard, the conquest so sharp, the fearful joy that ever slips away so quickly – by all this I mean love, which so sorely astounds my feeling with its wondrous operation, that when I think upon it I scarce know whether I wake or sleep.”

Any quote that ends in questioning one’s reality is a quote I can get behind. Life (and love) is so surreal that it makes me wonder why we differentiate reality from fiction. Reality: Feels unreal. Fiction: Is unreal. What does real feel like? But we’re off the track.

3) Let’s see if you can guess this one. We’ll do a two’fer.

“I was hiding under your porch because I love you.”

“I have just met you and I love you.”

If you didn’t guess Dug, from UP, then you’re a disgrace. These quotes get to the heart of what love is. Hiding under porches and rushing into things.

4) *emo voice* Joseph Addison.

“Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, Hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee!”

Most people don’t know this, but Joseph Addison wrote Pain for Three Days Grace. He got shafted on that deal, which is exactly what he wanted.

5) Henry Ward Beecher wants to be taken to church.

“I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.”

Random Heading

I just have this heading here because my SEO plug-in is being an ass about me not having enough headings. And what is love if not Search Engine Optimization?

6) Who is Erica Jong?

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it… It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

I googled her. She seems like a cool lady. And she knows a lot about love, seeing as how she is on her fourth marriage. (That comes across as more of a jab than I intended. Oh, well. I’ll let it stand.)

7) She wrote the book on men. Introducing, Helen Rowland.

“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.”

Because what talk of love is complete without an allusion to drinking?

SEO Is Love, SEO Is Life: And So Is Drinking

8) Oscar Wilde! Note to self: Reread The Picture of Dorian Gray.

“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.”

Especially true of first love. Even more true of the love who fills the void left. The unnoticed void that had been there all along. One wonders if love, in both cases, should not be in quotes. The same for fills. I will not elaborate.

Anywho, third times a charm. If you have passed up your third, I suggest a different mantra. Or giving up. (Bonus Quoth: “Never give up. Never back down.” Apt, because love is like a UFC fight.) But never go back! You leave your exes in Texas! Or dump them off in Alabama, where they belong. Just leave them someplace you’re not.

9) I’ll be honest, I didn’t know who this guy was. Janos Arany. Give him a google.

“In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.”

Only overwhelming improbabilities. You run at that wall enough times, you’ll phase right through. Just like with love.

Go watch Griff the Invisible.

10) Fyodor Dostoevski, I beg to differ.

“Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.”

Dostoevski, I’m missing the point but I wholly disagree.

The best thing about past loves is that they are over. When they come back in dreams, it’s like slow death all over again. Worse than reality because you can never leave it behind for good. Dreams can crop up again and again.

Who has had a dream of being back in a relationship? And it all felt so wrong because you weren’t where you were supposed to be. You struggled and struggled through the miasma of Mnemosyne (of memory), to get back where you belonged. I could go on… It’s awful.

Asher is Life, Asher is Love… We All Fall Down?

11) Let’s do a couple of quoths from me, then we’ll nightcap with Kierkegaard

“Love. The best time you’ll have in the bed of a truck.”

One: Get a truck.

Two: ???

Three: Profit.

Four: Blow that profit to feed the resulting tiny versions of yourself.

And a bonus, because I’m having fun with this.

“Love is like wrestling a bear. Mutual love is like wrestling a bear, except you get fucked by the bear.”

Write that shit in a card and sell it! (Don’t. I’ll sue you.)

12) Edmund J. Asher again.

“No, she is my soul’s mate. Once accepted for so long, then denied for longer. Foolish of me to have believed that one wants what one is meant for. More foolish still to impose such a thing as love. Yes, she is my soulmate. Her soul fits the broken edges of mine, but her soul is greater, possesses more edges than mine can match.”

Just some garbage I jotted down, after waking in the middle of the night, for a novel I’m never going to write.

Another Heading for SEO: Are You Happy, Google? Am I Good Enough Yet?

13) A Kierkegaard closing.

“Don’t forget to love yourself.”

Sounds like Kierkegaard knew the importance of punching the clown.

And self love is extremely important for all the lonelies on Valentine’s day. So take this advice and get to punching the clown.

It’s a metaphor. Think long and hard, and I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do with it.

Now get out there and love yourself! Because if you don’t, who else will? I’m gonna go spend time with my wife! Yes, I am rubbing it in. No, I won’t stop. No, I don’t care that it hurts. Love is pain. And I love you.

Have some Haddaway.

Haddaway is love, Haddaway is life.