(A blog post from the past that I didn’t post because: Why did I write this? For your viewing pleasure, a glimpse into my creative process. Don’t look directly, you’ll go blind.)

Naming your blog! Or anything else you want to name. Like your child. In fact, entirely by accident, I ended up randomly generating my next child’s name on the list in step four. See if you can spot it!

Liam Neeson has Taken his search for Waldo a little too seriously.

So, naming my blog has been on the to do list for the whole year it has existed. Now that it has been sufficiently procrastinated, I used today (1/29/19) to sit down for a half hour marathon of writing out names.

Your first task should be to find out what your blog is about. Your niche. Since my blog has been around for a year (with nothing to show for it), we know loosely what it is about. I am a fiction author, and this is an author blog, thus my niche is me. So I skipped this step. I can write about whatever I damned well please.

And one day, after a person finishes a read through one of my novels, they can say,”Hey! I want to know more about this Asher fellow.” Then they can google me, and find this massive collection of insight into who I am.

At which point they will run screaming. To be fair, they should have seen it coming. They did just read my book after all.

Step One

For steps two and three, click Justin Timberlake.

Step Four

My fourth step was to slap down random words and phrases which resonate with me. Simple as that. Write crap down at random.

Here is the list I pissed out, from which you may drink freely. (By which I mean to say use them. You can use them if you want.)

Shit Show, Unedited, Uncensored, Unmedicated, Perspiring Writer, awfulbrains (a blatant ripoff of Chuck Wendig’s terribleminds), dissociative blank, DID I write that? (written with a Steve Erkle accent), Tall, dark, and stormy, mental split, Write Club (unoriginal), Museless (thought it was original but no), where all come to die (what the fuck?), The Genocide of Writing, Writing on the Wall, Writ on Water, Writing/Talking to Myself, Murder (again, wtf?), Words, I’m in your house, standing behind you, Purely Medicinal, Merely Medicinal, Book of Jasher (apt, but too religious), Wrought in Hell, Writer on Fire, Hot in Hell, Unsober, (Author)ity on Nothing, Wrambler, Brainstorming, Brainsprinkling, Brainraining, Braining, I’m about to brain you with the trophy you won for karate/spelling bee when you were in the fourth grade, Write Brain, Wrong Brain…

As you can see, for those of you who survived your mystery assailant, this process is very free form. At some point during this step I jotted down Writing Wrongs, which I very much considered. But alas, a blog already owns it.

So I mixed it around. Righting Wrong, Writing Wrong, Rong Writing, etc. And eventually decided they were far too similar to the original. So I hurried on.

Step Five

What do you do with your list? If you didn’t tumble out exactly what you want during the process, you mark out all the losers and examine the most likely contenders.

If this falls short, or you need a completely legal, FDA approved boost to your creativity, try out a blog name generator.

I tried out this name generator. Now, I like it because of the whole fill in the blanks setup. But out of the whole list of ideas it spat out at me, there were only a few I considered worthy of working with. Confessions of a Writing Freak, The E Word, and Reading Addict. Nothing revolutionary on its own, but tweak things around and maybe we’re on to something. I ended up abandoning these altogether, but it did help to build momentum.

Another bedroom aid… creative aid… Sorry, I’m getting my projects mixed up. Another creative aid, looking at lists of blog names. I liked this site.

Creative Blog Names

Then puns. Any puns you can make out of your favorite keywords from up above. Like…

Write in the Ass.

Go on, take it. You could be the proud owner of Write in the Ass, a spectacular blog where you tell it like it is. Or a porn blog aimed at writers.

Where I ultimately landed was…

Bad Asylum

As I write this, the jury is still out on whether or not I use this name. It is available and I like it. But I’m waiting on feedback. If I use it, you more than likely already know… if not, it’s something else.

Citizens of the future! As you can see, I use this! I own the domain and will eventually redirect it to this one. (Because I’m not doing the other way around. That sounds like the wrong kind of self torture.)

Ultimately, the process is to write down names and play off of what you write and keep going until you get to a winner. Even if it seems completely cut off and unrelated to what came before it. It’s a very fluid process.

And no, I don’t care that you don’t know exactly what my blog is about by reading my blog name. It fits. Since when does anything here make sense?

Never!

At least not on the surface.

You’re still here?

(No, I’m not going to do the Ferris Bueller Meme again. I know better. *hides meme behind back*)

What am I saying? Of course you’re still here. When you came in, they locked the doors behind you.

And then they removed the doors.

It’s just wall now.

Concrete wall.

You’ll like it here. We have Jell-O. And Vicodin.

The Sound of Music: Vicodin and Jell-O Shots edition. No, I have no idea who made this meme.
What’s great is putting your Vicodin in your Jell-O