It’s Tuesday! And we all know what means. We’ve left the desolate wasteland of Monday behind. So we can get on with our lives until Sunday demands another sacrifice.

It also means BAMusic.

“BAMusic?” you ask. “I thought it was Catchy-Ass Music Tuesday.”

It was, but that was a placeholder. And as catchy-ass as the music is, the phrase catchy-ass is not catchy-ass. So we (the schizo we, not the royal we) are BAMusic now. At least until Books-a-Million orders a cease and desist.

What does BAMusic mean? Is it Bad Asylum music? Badass Music? Bachelors of Art in Music? I like the first two, but it’s open to interpretation.

Maybe even more a BAM! like WHAM! *queue sexophone* But we’ll save our ode to George Michael for next week. For now…

Why Hozier? A metric shit ton of reasons, but mostly because I was driving to get pizza last night and this song came on the radio, so I said to myself, “Self. This is what we’re using for our post tomorrow. Also, you just ran a red light.”

To which I replied, “You’ve just triggered a red light challenge!!!”

Then the lights in my truck went crazy and Hozier’s voice spoke to me from the radio. Fortunately, his request was this: “Name six of the nine members of The Fellowship of the Ring.”

I named all nine, arrived at my destination, and walked away with $250.

What Does It Mean?

The song, not my ride in the Cash Cab. At first you may ask yourself, “What the hell does the video have to do with the song?”

Unless you’re just smarter than everyone else and you immediately see it. Two separate stories with a parallel theme.

Love and sex (tied together, but not separately, maybe separately?) over the will of the church (established religion, the establishment in general).

Whether that love be gay or straight or striped (but never plaid). And the contrast, in the video, between the love of two men and the hate of the men who hunt them… if you’ve got more of a problem with their love than you do with the violence against them, it may be time to check yourself.

But you didn’t come here to be preached at by a lunatic (me/we, not Hozier). And we aren’t here to preach! While we don’t judge you for your homophobia, we think you are kind of an ass.

DISCLAIMER: Here at Bad Asylum, we think everyone is kind of an ass. So if you’d kindly fucking stop it with your homophobia, we’d be able to go on with thinking you are kind of an ass for other reasons. It is our hope that, someday, we can kind of think everyone is an ass for no real reason at all.

Now we can get on with why we really showcased Hozier.

Gods-Damned Lyrical Genius

In every single fucking one of his songs, Hozier proves himself a gods-damned lyrical genius. That’s right. The divinity of his lyrics has riled all gods, Nyth’s included.

This is the first Hozier song we’ve showcased and it won’t be the last. Why we didn’t start with something more obscure, we don’t know. This seems pointless, given everyone and their mongoose knows this song.

Next time I bring up Hozier, it’ll be for Arsonist’s Lullaby.

But this song, Take Me to Church. A sex anthem. Our wife would be embarrassed if we told you it was one of her favorite songs, so we won’t tell you that. What will we say? Masterpiece, from first line to last.

You’ve got your, “she’s the giggle at a funeral”, your “deathless death,” and, while not as groundbreaking as the line that follows, “my church offers no absolutes,” uses one of my favorite words.


Obi-Wan, offering no absolutes.
Take me to church, Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope.

There’s no picking a favorite line in this one, but if forced, this whole bit:

No masters or kings when the ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am human
Only then I am clean

We still didn’t pick a favorite line. And we aren’t going to. You can’t make us.

We will leave you with this tidbit of writing advice: Any songwriter, or writer in general, should pick Hozier apart word by word. Clear and powerful.