What do you think branding is?

Unfortunately, I looked to the wrong sources for my answer. Definition brought to you by courtesy of Wikipedia.

Branding: Pressing a heated metal shape against an object or livestock with the intention of leaving an identifying mark.

Armed with knowledge, I took action. Because when you’re serious about what you do, that’s what you do.


Peter Griffin branding a cow. Don't worry, the cow is super into it.

Maybe if I had taken the time to research before making this permanent decision, my ass wouldn’t read Lou.

Where would I be if I’d stopped to use someone else’s brain rather than my own? Likely, a week ahead of the curve with intact cheeks.

But I’ll save you the pain (unless you took my advice and JUST DID IT!) and link you to someone else’s brain. If you are here to learn about branding, go ahead and follow the following link and never come back (please come back). If you are here for me and my nonsense, continue (but be warned, you walk this path alone).

Just one of Rachel Thompson’s Branding posts over at BadRedHead Media.

Check it out. She knows her stuff. Unlike me. Me? I’m just a guy who knows half as much as Jon Snow. But what do I know? Socrates says I’m a genius, so maybe you should take his word for it.

Going forward in this post, I’m going to follow Rachel’s post to discover my brand.

A shot from the 1-800 Contacts commercial. This commercial comprises the majority of my day to day thought... which explains a lot.
Look! Look with your special eyes!

We’ll start with my five to six passionate topics. The garbage I care about. The garbage I want to talk to you about. The garbage you wouldn’t listen to if I didn’t have you tied to a chair. (Fortunately, that can be arranged.)


  • Movies (I watch a lot of movies.)
  • Books (Other people’s books. I use to read a lot of books, and I’m working on doing so again.)
  • Music (I listen to a lot of music. I feel like these could have been one bullet point.)
  • My life (Because it’s the one thing I’ve definitely got that you don’t.)
  • Writing (Not as an expert, but talking about my progression through this whole writing and authoring mess. I’ll link you to resources I find helpful. But as my expertise grows, I will force my factual opinions on you.
  • Mental Health (Because, believe it or not, I have a history with mental health issues. This topic has a wide range. I’ll wrap suicide awareness in here.)

And the whole while you will be inundated with memes (because how else would you know I’m an idiot?) and my special BRAND of humor.

What are some of my lesser keywords?

  • Something I haven’t talked a lot about that is a pretty big deal to me. Martial arts and lifting things. WEAPONS! We’ll see.
  • Video games (Not something I’m really looking to break into, as everyone does it and YouTube and Twitch have it monopolized (meaning I can’t just write, I have to put my face out there, and… we’ll get to that in a moment.)
  • I don’t know. I collect a ton of things. NO! I’m not a hoarder! But I ride the line.
  • I’m pretty much a full on nerd. A foul-mouthed, antisocial, sarcastic nerd.


I got excited when I hit this point of Rachel’s post. I thought we were gonna talk about the blue people Avatar. Or Avatar: The Last Airbender (NOT THE MOVIE! FUCK THE MOVIE!) But no… my hopes were dashed.

“Use your face in your avatar,” she says.

And yeah, I know it’s important. I just hate posting pics of myself online. I hate pictures of myself. Not because there is anything wrong with my face (I mean, that’s up to individual opinion). It all stems back to that mental health business I was talking about. Paranoia, anxiety, self-esteem.

A gandalf facebook profile default avatar.
This was my profile pic on Facebook for the longest time. “None shall pass… the wall I’ve built around myself.

I’ll have to share the glory of my visage at some point. I’m just worried my wife will be jealous of all the feminine attention my unveiling will garner.

Once I’ve worked up the nerve to unveil (and then cycle between veiling and unveiling about a dozen more times) I might delve into video blogging (vlogging, as the kids call it).

Another roadblock! I hate talking in front of people (even if those people aren’t really there… but it’s okay if they are my imaginary people…). I dropped out of Speech class in college THREE TIMES! Just another comfort zone I’ll have to move out of. I hate moving. Once I’m moved, though, maybe I can start vlogging. (Vids of me playing guitar, playing through video games with outrageous commentary, talking about books with outrageous commentary, reading books in complete silence.)

It’s doable. As ridiculous as it sounds, even blogging and typing to people on social media use to send my anxiety through the roof. Still isn’t the easiest thing but I persevere.

But enough persevering for now. I woke up with a migraine. I can feel the earth spinning. I’ll work through the bio portion of my branding later. For now?

#FuckItFriday #FuckEditingThisPost